the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
