I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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