i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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