I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
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I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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