you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
