I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
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I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
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We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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