The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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