Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
