Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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