I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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