I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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