At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
