like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
where are my eyebrows?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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