i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
