My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
