I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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