thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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