she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
