is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
