Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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