So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
