I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ugly people sure do ruin things
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
