You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
