dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
