is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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