I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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