At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
