guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
