There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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