Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
