hell yes lets make some ravioli
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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