Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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