evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
