the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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