I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
