can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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