dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
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One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
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I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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