Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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