My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
