problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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