Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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