Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
