Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize