so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize