I must be too annoying 4 u.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
