he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You were trust falling into bushes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize