KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
