I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
