Do you still have your period?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
