i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
