I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
