need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
