dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We have started to decorate penises.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
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Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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