Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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