Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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