Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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